sometimes

Sometimes
I am horrid
and resentful
and selfishly
want my time
and energy
and body
for myself.

She says to claim what is mine.
To take it for myself.
To own it.

But how can I claim what is mine?
How can I deny those I love?

A claim for myself must mean
someone else is left wanting –

Why is it so hard to believe that there is somehow enough to go around?

One day maybe I will evolve
into a person who softens.

When I am this selfish version
of myself (mother, wife, daughter, friend),
I feel quite terrible,

and immediately look
at the smiling face
of my child

and I feel a bit better.

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