Waiting 

  

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Thursday morning

Stuck inside on the only nice day in week
longingly looking at the window
feeling both trapped and glad
at the same time.

Barley understanding myself
I am happy there is no one here
to try to explain it too.

I don’t know what I want.
I want both.
I want neither.
I want it all.
Whatever that means.

I don’t even know what it means.

So I go back to looking out the window.

follow

One morning
I arrive at work
to find that my friend
had dreamt of me
 
in a dress made
of lace and sun
and smiles
 
and of me
 
asking him
to follow
as I walked
barefooted
away from
him
 
with tall grass
blowing beautiful
and breezy
 
and oddly
enough he
did follow
 
until he woke
 
and now we both
wonder where
I was leading us

learning to share

In the woods
I came across a
coyote feeding
ground strewn
with bones.
They had found
a deer carcass and,
I can only assume,
shared it – all
feasting together.

But the bones
they left for me.

Sharing is much
harder for those
on two legs.

A woman to whom
every desire is
a mere whim,
is best left behind.

A woman who
walks through the
world uncaring
is best kept at arms
length, as are most
things which are
impossible to
understand.

When a connection
isn’t possible
and the superiority
that she feels
is made clear,
it is best to
walk away.

We cannot be
weighed down
by such things.

Everyone needs
a good humbling
now and then

it cleanses the
soul’s palette.

National Guacamole Day

Its early on a Monday morning. Cold and quiet.
I coworker assembles a lab in the other room.
Your lab.
She puts the pieces together. I hear glass clinking
and it makes me miss you. How odd for her
to be touching your things. I watch her
and think to myself “you’re doing it wrong.”

Farming has made me see the world in cycles.
Clear and pronounced and complicated.
I feel torn, wanting rain for myself, but thinking – not yet.
Not just yet, the grapes aren’t ready.
Just a week more of sun. Maybe two.
 
Yesterday was National Guacamole Day.
A year ago on that day I told you
about the occasion, excited by my discovery.
You said, “We’d better go get some guac then.”
And we did.