Closer

We go into the wilderness
to find a wilder version of ourselves,
to release her out into the world.

We look, trying to see everything
between the curves and the edges,
how it blends together and fades.
We circle back, again and again,
each time getting just a little
closer to the center.

The sounds of the ocean and
the windswept pines belong together.

We desire. We demand. We rage.
We are quiet when we should speak.
We shed layers. Grow. Surrender. Leave behind.
We die and come alive again.

We dance wildly in an empty room
trying to enjoy instead of endure.
We live together on our separate planets.
We arrive again and again.

My body was made for this.

Closer

We go into the wilderness
to find a wilder version of ourselves,
to release her out into the world.

We look, trying to see everything
between the curves and the edges,
how it blends together and fades.
We circle back, again and again,
each time getting just a little
closer to the center.

The sounds of the ocean and
the windswept pines belong together.

We desire. We demand. We rage.
We are quiet when we should speak.
We shed layers. Grow. Surrender. Leave behind.
We die and come alive again.

We dance wildly in an empty room
trying to enjoy instead of endure.
We live together on our separate planets.
We arrive again and again.

My body was made for this.

eating an orange

I eat an orange
and look at the rain
fall outside my second
story window onto
the streets and
sidewalks below
as my body begins to
reproduce the blood
that the doctor has
just taken from me.

Sometimes
it seems,
a body takes over.

The mind becomes
less important and
precious thoughts
are harder
to formulate
or care about.

Needs are basic
and primal and
we learn to listen
to the wisdom of
our bodies.

A bit of juice
dribbles down
my finger and
as I lick it up
I am reminded
that we are all
just animals
full of instinct.

I close my eyes
and feel the world
begin to change
its course
according to the
movements of my toes
and the pads
of my fingertips.

The Trees

I measure my days in glasses of water –
all my vices have been taken from me
and I am left with only this clear liquid,
responsible for so much good and ill.

Time feels short
and life is tricky
and I suppose
something in me
drew you closer
despite my
difficulty.

But for me,
I think,
it was the trees,

in that certain light
that only comes
right after a rain.

When the sky is a fantastic
dark grey blue backdrop and
the trees themselves
seem to glow
neon green.

Invisible

All at once
a new reality
is found.
It is thrust
suddenly but
only gradually
understood.
 
It is so slow
to show itself.
Both like an
exercise in patience
and the wisest plan
any designer
ever designed.
 
I struggle to grasp
all that is new
but not new.
 
I relish the discomforts
because there is nothing else
 
but soon enough it will be impossible to deny.
 
In the meantime
everything sits
gathering moss
and memories.
 
Time moves forward,
odd in its normalcy,
and slowly.
 
The process is universal
yet so individual and unique,
and lonley for each as she
slowly passes through it.

Transformation

An unusual chill
has fallen on this place
and is now clinging
like a frightened
child to its mother.

I look out through the
safety of windows,

and see the brutal beauty
of transformation.

I work as pieces
fall all around me
and I try not to trip
as I keep moving.

Nothing and
everything
is perfect.

This cold has brought us
a good time for changes
and plumping up.

Transformation

IMG_8683

Transformation
An unusual chill
has fallen on this place
and is now clinging
like a frightened
child to its mother.

I look out through the
safety of windows,

and see the brutal beauty
of transformation.

I work as pieces
fall all around me
and I try not to trip
as I keep moving.

Nothing and
everything
is perfect.

This cold has brought us
a good time for changes
and plumping up.